No illness or struggle of any form is a competition. Each is valid. Each matter. When I say, my depression was incredibly severe and I was told by psychiatrists and doctors that it may never lift, I do not say it to imply I had it worse than anyone else or to get sympathy. I say it because I want to emphasize that overcoming even the most severe cases of anything is very possible. I say it to motivate. To inspire. To help.
I had to go through what I did to get where I am now. Part of the struggle I have is really speaking up about the methods I’ve used to overcome depression and panic disorder is for fear someone takes it a certain way that is not intended. Trust me, I heard plenty of the “oh, have you meditated? Oh, you’re letting the devil win. Oh, you need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps” crap advice to know how frustrating it is to hear when you’re smack dab in the middle of hell. It’s not uplifting, it’s not helpful. My gigantic truth bomb is that medication made me worse. It transferred my pain and trauma on to other areas of my physical body and made healing more and more agonizing of a path to walk. I know how horrible mental illness is, I for damn sure know what that is all about. I know the desperation and why medications are taken. I took pill after pill for 20 some years. If someone takes it, I do not judge that, and society really should not either. If I’m telling the truth, which I strive to do now, I will say I know medication will never heal the trauma and pain that created illness in the first place. Honestly, I do not believe in a magic pill or any magic herb or oil. I believe in myself and my body’s ability to heal and recover. Sure, some outside source may serve as a tool in my body healing. You can not rely solely on that pill, supplement, diet, whatever. You eventually will need to face some horrifying, terrifying, earth shaking shit if you have a severe illness. There will come a point where you face it, or you get sicker and sicker. You may even die tragically. Guess what? If you die your pain won’t just die with you. It will surface again in your descendants or loved ones. Or, you may be reincarnated and have to go through it all over again until you figure it out. Look, I don’t know exactly what will happen, but I have every reason to believe your pain will not vanish even if you’re gone. Your family and loved ones will be left to deal with it, regardless of what you believe. This is something many are not ready to accept or hear, I know. I’m going to say it anyway.
So what do you do? What did I do? How do you break the cycle of all your inherited and absorbed pain? First, realize you’ve got a great deal to face. Take each day at a time. Try your absolute best to filter out the outside world and other opinions. Follow your own intuition. Find those who support you, I mean really and truly support you. You KNOW who these people are even if your mind is cloudy and you have no feeling. Find those people. Be incredibly gentle with yourself. I mean REALLY gentle. There are an infinite number of ways to heal, try not to get overwhelmed. If you need medication, take it. If you need sleep, sleep. If you need to eat, eat. Please try and not get into anything that you don’t see as a lasting lifestyle. Specifically, diets. Unless you have an extreme allergy, do not even go there. I find extreme diet changes to be equally as destructive as taking loads of drugs or addiction. While I support healthy eating, ask yourself if it’s actually healthy for you or if it’s you shifting your addiction on to another area that society sees as a “healthy addiction.” I tried different diets only to get sicker because my soul was to the point of inconceivable frustration. Meaning, until I faced my trauma and pain, I would only get worse until I actually truly and honestly faced and honored what I needed to.
You have to continuously tell yourself you are PERFECT exactly how you are. I found when I stopped seeking outside validation and healing through others, my pain lifted immensely. I woke up and realized the badass healing woman I am. The only insanity that exists in me is my insane creativity and empathy.
You want to know what I know? YOU can do it to. YOU can heal yourself. YOU can do anything you dream to do. Anyone can, but not everyone knows how, or they choose to simply not believe it. That’s it. That’s the big secret.
I could be wrong; I could be right. The only thing I know for a fact is that no one is greater or lesser. We are all equal on very different paths. If you’re reading this, you’re either realizing this or looking for something to criticize. Every person walking and talking their truth gets haters and trolls, so if that’s you, I love you too. I choose to believe most are reading this for inspiration. Inspiration that leads you to the realization that you are incredible and able to heal YOURSELF. I love you. Please love yourself for yourself. Love is contagious and it’s how you’re going to save yourself AND well, the world.
Kara is a Motivational Energy Coach and Owner of Bounce Energy Healing LLC. She provides energy healing coaching using Reiki, music and sound therapy, creative expression, and emotional exploration to help others recognize their own unique gifts and individual power to heal themselves.
If you’d like to contact Kara or schedule a session, please Bounce on over to her website: